You Too Can Be a Good Husband

"I don't want to get married yet — my career isn't settled. Who knows what will happen after marriage? Will my in-laws even let me work, and if they do, will they support me? How will I balance home and career? And I haven't even got to know Abhinav yet — I don't know what he's like, or whether he'll stand by me." Ayesha was very afraid. All kinds of thoughts were running through her mind.

Her parents kept saying she was nearly 28 now and should settle down. Abhinav came from a good family and had a decent salary package. Above all, Ayesha had always wished that the man she married should be good-looking too, and Abhinav could certainly be called attractive. Still, Ayesha could not make up her mind. She felt that the moment she married, her progress would come to a halt.

Then her sister-in-law explained to the confused Ayesha that this was the right time to marry, that she would face no problems, and that she should just meet Abhinav once. When they met, Abhinav assured her that she could do whatever she wanted and no one would stop her — and Ayesha said yes. After the wedding she found a supportive family and began moving ahead in her career with new confidence. Whenever there was a difficulty, Abhinav stood by her like a guide and friend and helped in every way possible. This kind of marriage was beyond anything she had imagined.

Husband: first reader, first editor

Preeti Shenoy is a well-known author. She began writing in 2006 and today is counted among the country's best young writers. Recognising her talent from her blog, her husband Satish Shenoy encouraged her to write a book. When her first book came out and she handed the first copy to her husband, he felt as if his own dream had come true.

My husband Satish Shenoy is also my best friend. When I started writing in 2006, Satish supported me a great deal. Even today, when he comes home in the evening, the first thing he asks is whether I've finished my work for the day. We are very close. My husband is the first reader and first editor of the first chapter of every book of mine. Whatever I write, I email it to him first and find out what he thinks. I fix the points he catches. And if there is an important matter of his, he asks for my views. I consider myself extremely lucky. We have been married for more than 18 years, but honestly, I still feel very happy when he comes home in the evening. By half past five I start asking him how far he's got.

— Preeti Shenoy, author

The Arjuna Award came after marriage

Arjuna Award winner Mamta Pujari, famous as the 'Kabaddi Queen', was a national-level player even before her marriage, but with her husband's encouragement she now feels even more confident. She says: "When I got married in 2013, even my own family told me that if my in-laws asked me not to play, I should stop. I had prepared myself for that. A month after the wedding I had a camp. When I told my husband about it, he said, 'Go. Nobody gets a place in the Indian team just like that. You're playing well. Play for as long as you want to.'"

Mamta says her in-laws are very supportive too. Even her Arjuna Award came after marriage. Earlier her husband only watched races; now he watches kabaddi and tells her what she should do. He encourages her a lot.

One and one make eleven

After marriage, a husband's support is a source of strength for a woman, and today the thinking of life partners has also changed, making women more empowered. Today's husbands become equal partners in their wives' progress, and their wives' success makes them proud. Once a woman has the respect and support of her husband and his family, her dreams take wing and she writes a new story. Even if their professions differ, they understand each other's needs, and when it comes to solving problems, one and one together make eleven.

Engineer Akanksha married after finishing her course and getting a placement, and is now advancing her career with full confidence. She says: "I was against marriage too, but today if anyone asks me, I'll say that marriage solves a thousand problems — provided the two people understand each other well."

"On the very first day after our wedding he told me, 'You are not just my wife. We are equal partners in life. Never think I am ordering you around.' He gave me complete freedom to choose my career. He took on responsibility for the house and told me to do the work I wanted. We are both telecom engineers, but when I realised my passion was make-up, I talked to my husband. He said, 'Do whatever you want to do.' I took professional training and made my job part-time. My husband supported me completely."